Life and Relationship

Question: Homage to the greatly kind Root Guru! What should I do if my family doesn't believe in Buddhism? In the past, when we didn’t believe it, business was good. But after I started believing, it hasn’t gone so well. They always bring this up as the reason.

Master: After taking faith in the Buddha and taking refuge in Triple Gem, the blessings from reciting sutras and chanting the Buddha’s name are immense. If any unfavorable circumstances arise during this time, they are all part of the process of purifying negative karma.

Question: A friend of mine has gone through a divorce. How can I use the Dharma to help her? Are there any mantras or sacred names she can recite to help her move beyond the pain of the divorce?

Master: Everything arises through the law of causes and conditions. But if you wish to help a friend, the key is to recognize that they’ve already obtained the precious human body. Any further misfortunes are not real problems, because this precious human life is still with them. Such a rare and valuable opportunity shouldn’t be wasted—using it to practice the Dharma of liberation is the best course. This itself is a skillful means of transforming adversity into the Dharma path.

Question: My younger brother is 34 years old and still unmarried, and his job is not going well. Whenever my parents think about this, they are extremely anxious and have no peace of mind. I would like to ask the master for guidance. How can I help my parents and my brother?

Master: Pray to the Three Gem, recite the Four Refuges and the Prayer for Removing Obstacles on the Path more often. As for things that ordinary people cannot achieve, pray to the Buddhas and Bodhisattvas for help.

Question: As a lay practitioner who has taken refuge in the Buddha, I keep the precept of vegetarianism when eating alone. But when eating with others who eat meat, should I still maintain my vegetarian practice? If I do, those around me who don’t understand karma might criticize the Dharma. On the other hand, if I go along with them and eat meat, I might sever their karmic connection to the Buddha. What should I do?

Master: In situations like this, it’s more important to stick to a vegetarian diet. When eating with others, you can rinse dishes that have touched meat with warm water before eating them. If those around you don’t accept this, you can skillfully respond by saying, “I tend to feel nauseous and get an upset stomach when I eat meat.” You could also gently ask, “I’ve seen scenes of chickens and fish being slaughtered recently, and it’s made me feel really uncomfortable. I don’t feel well when eating meat—do you have any suggestions that might help?”

Question: As a lay practitioner, how can one perfect worldly wisdom and inspire those around them to develop faith in the Dharma and embark on the path to liberation?

Master: First, study the Dharma to awaken wisdom; through the process of learning the Dharma, one naturally comes to understand what to adopt and what to abandon in worldly matters.

Question: In the course of work, there are often times when I can’t be completely honest with clients. I feel uneasy about deceiving them, but if I tell them everything truthfully, no one will want to do business. What should I do?

Master: Examine whether your motivation is pure. If you’re doing something for the benefit of sentient beings and your intention is genuinely pure, then speaking a skillful untruth may be permissible. But if your motivation is self-serving, it’s best not to lie.

Question: Homage to the greatly kind Root Guru! In the course of listening, contemplating, and meditating on the Dharma, how should one face the situation of being scolded by a vajra brother or sister?

Master: You must cultivate patience and broaden your heart—this is a very good opportunity to practice forbearance.

Question: Homage to the Guru, the Triple Gem, and the Three Roots! How can lay Buddhists observe themselves and know that they have the right conditions to renounce household life to become ordained.

Master: When the conditions are right, one will naturally want to become ordained.

Question: If one has underage children or sick children at home, and one wants to go to a quiet place to practice the Dharma seriously, does this count as shirking responsibility or abandoning bodhicitta?

Master: After you have dealt with the children’s problems, you can become ordained.

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Question: I have vowed to be a vegetarian, but my health is not good, and I have to eat meat. What should I do?

Master: Observe whether it is your body or your mind that is not good? [Master laughs]